Stars
by Ashplosion
Summary: "Sometimes, I looked to the stars for guidance. I wasn't into astrology, but those distant, twinkling points of light seemed to hold answers at times. I hoped to find wisdom there, though I never had."
**Author's notes:** I've used Cyrillic for Linka's habit of speaking her native tongue. If your browser can't encode this, please mention this in a review or personal message. I'll make sure to transliterate in the future.

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Sometimes, I looked to the stars for guidance. I wasn't into astrology, but those distant, twinkling points of light seemed to hold answers at times. I hoped to find wisdom there, though I never had.

Many of them may have been long-dead stars. After the six years of fighting for what I felt was right, the thought bothered me more than it had when I'd first arrived. How many of those stars had swallowed planets, much like Earth, that possibly contained life? Were those lifeforms anything like Earth's inhabitants?

I wondered if the others had these internal struggles.

Kwame had explained that his tribe used constellations as a navagational tool at night, but that was that. He'd shown his fellow Planeteers how to navigate, particularly south of the equator, but never followed up. Wheeler joked occasionally about astrology, usually while making a pass at Linka. In his mind, aliens were "bullshit," and "all the best stars come from Hollywood." Ma-Ti stated his tribe followed a lunar calander, and that the phases of the moon were important to his people. He'd never expounded on that thought process.

 _She_ had never mentioned the stars, though I could sometimes find her staring up at them during Hope Island's hottest nights. We always seemed to find each other in the heat, looking aimlessly at worlds away, beyond our comprehension. I knew the stars held significance for her culture, but I wasn't sure what significance they held for _her_. The pair of us, we were always trying to hide behind science and reason, and we'd largely shirked thought processes our home countries had embedded into us.

Our relationship had greatly changed over the last six years, much like we'd changed ourselves. We'd grown from teenagers to young women. Our discussions turned from boys to deep, philosophical questions, much like the one I pondered now.

Without realizing it, I'd wandered to the beach, as I often did when the night was unusually hot on Hope Island. As if on cue, I found her sitting on the beach, staring at the stars. Upon my approach, she turned to me and smiled. The feeling of our eyes locking always sent a shiver through me; calm brown meeting stormy blue always gave me the impression of the ocean lapping at the land. My element, driven by hers, to seek refuge from its own madness.

I had no idea when I'd fallen in love with Linka, but somehow, I didn't need to know. I loved her, and that was enough for me.

"Do you ever wonder what's out there?" I asked as I sat next to her. She smiled.

"Да, all the time. Are there worlds like ours? Do they carry the same struggles and fights that we do?" I nodded and leaned back onto my elbows. She followed suit a moment later, only raising up enough to point at a general swath of sky. "This area, this makes me think of you." I glanced in the direction she indicated. "All of the constellations of the water." I smiled, pleased that the stars made her think of me. "This one in particular reminds me of you," she stated as she laid again next to me, took my hand and traced it in the sky.

"Delphinus," I breathed quietly, more to myself than to her.

"We call it Дельфин. Almost the same thing," she laughed with a light lilt to her voice. "But the strength and joy of the dolphins always make me think about you." I smiled, and it was only then that I realized she hadn't disentangled her hand from mine. I gave it a light squeeze.

"Orion is here," I started, as I lifted our joined hands and pointed at Rigel, the brightest star. "Rigel makes me think of you... the brightest star in the strongest constellation." I brought our hands to rest on my stomach, and we lay there for a long, quiet moment. She seemed lost in thought. "Your passions burn brightly, like the stars, but you derive strength from them." Stupid, cheesy, romantic. Exactly what I would've wanted to hear, but I kind of feared the words as they left my mouth. Linka and I were still very different people. I felt her hand twitch slightly.

"What do the stars mean to you, Linka?" She seemed surprised as she rolled onto her side and stared at me. "I know space was important to the Soviet Union, but what do they mean to you, personally?" She considered this for a moment.

"Hope. Renewal. Fear. Anxiety." I tilted my head at the shift. "There are worlds out there we will never understand. This brings up the hope in me, maybe we can renew our own planet. Maybe our lives, even. But it brings me fear and anxiety as well."

"Maybe we are the most advanced and there will never be advancement for important moral standards," I offered shyly. She laughed lightly.

"Да, that is my exact fear." I rolled onto my side to face her, much as she had done. "I fear that humans will never shed the bindings of pollution, greed, war... hatred and fear itself." She poured more emotion into the last phrase than I think she meant to.

"Hatred and fear," I mused for a moment, looking back to the stars.

"I do not think that anything good will ever come of those emotions. Yet I feel fear all of the time."

"Fear is a powerful motivator. It can make someone do... or not do... something they desperately want or need to do."

"Да, fear keeps me from things I wish to do." We both had something we wanted, but fear held us back. We had more in common than I thought, sometimes. "I think that we need to learn to cast aside our fears, but it's so hard to do."

"What do you fear, Linka?" I looked back to her; she seemed to be blinking back tears.

"I fear letting someone in. What do you fear, Gi?"

"I fear... love itself. Not love, the opposite of hatred, but love... the romantic kind," I finished weakly. I could've kicked myself.

"Да, I as well," she laughed lightly.

"A fine pair we are! Is there someone you love... _Wheeler_ , perhaps?" I laughed suggestively, but I died a little inside.

"Нет!" She grumbled sharply. "Wheeler is a wonderful man, but I am not in love with him, and I will never be." I cocked my head. "He knows this. I do not know why he continues to flirt with me. We had a long talk years ago."

"I... what happened?" She sighed. "I mean, Kwame and I talked a few years ago. I thought it was pretty obvious I had no interest in men, but he-"

"What?!" She blinked rapidly, as if her eyes couldn't focus on me. I couldn't believe I'd just said that, but all the tension in me dissipated as she laughed lightly at her own reaction. "I am sorry... I just thought... perhaps I was the only one here..." Her words took a moment to register, and then we found ourselves splayed in the sand, laughing heartily.

"Why didn't you tell me, Linka?"

"It is not something that is... thought of... kindly, back home," she said, with a distant look in her eyes. "I have been hiding this for years. I tried to change. I have probably scarred poor Wheeler for life with my hot and cold attitudes." I chuckled softly. "Also, you were never obvious about it, Gi." I laughed lightly, thinking she was right in hindsight.

"Back home, for me... my parents did not care, but I haven't told anyone else, for much the same reason you haven't." I looked at her, silently adding _and because I never thought I could act on my feelings for you_. The blue storm in her eyes continued to rage, and I tried to resist the pull. "Is there... someone back home?"

"Нет."

"Is there... someone at all." She considered this for a moment.

"Да Нет." I blinked. Yes no? "There is someone, but I do not know her feelings for me." God, I was hoping she was talking about us. I knew there was no chance, but the thought eased the pain somewhat.

I really, really wanted to believe she was talking about me.

We locked eyes again, stormy blue meeting calm brown, the ocean driven by the wind for refuge from its own madness. Her eyes widened a fraction, and I sighed softly before looking away. "I think we should stop fearing," I said tentatively. She nodded slightly beside me, and I brought my eyes to lock with hers. She said nothing, but was clearly having some internal struggle. An internal struggle that, I hoped, mirrored my own. An internal struggle that common sense was quickly losing to desire.

I kissed her.

I met no resistance as I kissed her, and after what felt like an eternity, I pulled back. Her eyes were wide, presumably with shock. I felt my face flush. How foolish could I have been, to just kiss her like that? She was interested in someone, and she'd never indicated she had any interest in me. I hadn't even known she had any romantic interest in women until just a few moments ago, and-

The feeling of her hands on my face cut off my inner dialogue as she searched my eyes for a long moment and kissed me again.

Maybe, for once, the stars had given us the wisdom we needed.


End file.
